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| Discovering Different Emotional Needs for Men & Women |
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 Men and women generally are unaware that they have different emotional needs. As a result they do not instinctively know how to support each other. Men typically give in relationships what men want, while women give what women want. Each mistakenly assumes that the other has the same needs and desires. As a result they both end up dissatisfied and resentful.
Both men and women feel they give and give but do not get back. They feel their love is unacknowledged and unappreciated. The truth is they are both giving love but not in the desired manner.
For example, a woman thinks she is being loving when she asks a lot of caring questions or expresses concern. As we have discussed before, this can be very annoying to a man. He may start to feel controlled and want space. She is confused, because if she were offered this kind of support she would be appreciative. Her efforts to be loving are at best ignored and at worst annoying.
Similarly, men think they are being loving, but the way they express their love may make a woman feel invalidated and unsupported. For example, when a woman gets upset, he thinks he is loving and supporting her by making comments that minimize the importance of her problems. He may say "Don't worry, It's not such a big deal." Or he may completely ignore her, assuming he is giving her a lot of "space" to cool off and go into her cave. What he thinks is support makes her feel minimized, unloved, and ignored.
When a woman is upset she needs to be heard and understood. Without this insight into different male and female needs, a male doesn't understand why his attempts to help fall.
Most of our complex emotional needs can be summarized as the need for love. Men and women each have six unique love needs that are all equally, important. Men primarily need trust. acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement. Women primarily, need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance. The enormous task of figuring out what our partner needs is simplified greatly through understanding these twelve different kinds of love.
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Posted by admin on Tuesday, August 14 @ 14:32:55 MDT (403 reads)
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| How to Handle a Break Up: Things You Should Do to Protect Yourself |
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Break ups are seldom easy and rarely happy occasions. In the beginning, it may seem very difficult to get over but you definitely will find the time and the reason. To help you handle a break up and lessen the pain and possible negative repercussions, here are some things you can do:
A good way to handle a break up is to keep things amicable. Break ups don't have to be made up of nasty fights, harsh words and revenge plots. If you came into a relationship in a good way, you can try to get out of it nicely. Don't rub salt into an already bad wound. Wouldn't it be better to lose a lover and win a friend than lose everything?
Don't play the blame game; this is not a good way to handle a break up. Blaming each other will create negative feelings and even make you regret a lot of things that you shouldn't have in the first place. Take responsibility for the part you played on the relationship, both for its success and for its failure, but don't be too harsh on yourself or on your soon-to-be ex. By keeping your self-esteem intact, you don't leave room for bitterness and you will learn ho handle a break up nicely.
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Posted by admin on Wednesday, May 09 @ 20:14:59 MDT (213 reads)
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| Is Your Boyfriend Cheating On You? |
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Is your boyfriend cheating on you? Do you know the signs that indicate he may be seeing someone else? Is his recent behavior getting more confusing and you can't figure out what is going on?
Being cheated on is to have your trust violated and your heart broken. You feel betrayed by the one you love and thought loved you. It can feel like the end of the world. However, the sooner you can know the truth and face the facts of your relationship, the sooner you can move on with your life.
What are the signs that he is cheating on you? Here are the three main patterns of behavior that cheaters fall into that spell something is S.A.D. between you:
S stands for Secretive
Your boyfriend may be cheating on you if he is acting secretive. Does he have a new cell phone and he has not given you the number? Does he have a new email address that he has not shared? Does he stay on the computer late at night? Does he sometimes whisper into the phone and then tell you it was a wrong number? Does he suddenly have to go somewhere for some strange reason? He is going to the gym more, working longer hours (but it doesn't show on his paystub,) getting new clothes, trying a new hairstyle, listening to new music, and making sure that the car is cleaned out? Does he hide the credit card bill each month and tell you he will take care of it at the office? If any of these secretive behaviors appear, you might look at why.
A is for Accusatory
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Posted by admin on Tuesday, May 08 @ 20:47:29 MDT (251 reads)
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When a person is younger, they might have thought how wonderful it would be to get married. Of course, it's wonderful...but not all of the time. There will be times when marriage will seem like hard work and there will even be a time when leaving will look like a viable option.
To married couples out there, they must remember to look for ways to improve their relationship. Here are some tips that could make the marriage go from boring to infinitely fascinating.
1. Forgive.
Okay, there will always be disagreements in a relationship. But there is also something known as forgiveness that could immediately smooth the situation in an instant. Married couples must never harbor grudges.
2. Respect and honesty in the key.
If there is no respect and honesty in a marriage in the first place, why are they still together?
3. Remember the power of humor.
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Posted by admin on Sunday, May 06 @ 18:45:32 MDT (198 reads)
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| Is He Going to Pop the Question? |
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If you're interested in marriage, your odds for having a lasting one are about 50-50. The odds on second and third marriages plummet downwards, and the older you are, the less your chances for remarriage. In the US, at age 30, only 56% of women remarry; at 40, 32%, and at 50, 12%.
Statistics don't apply to individual cases, of course, but they indicate trends and often give us points to ponder.
For instance, if you're making more than your guy does, your chances of a viable marriage will be knocked down another 50%, or 25%.
With odds like these, it pays to find out as much as you can about the guy.
The #1 cause of divorce, worldwide, is infidelity, and the best predictor is how he behaved before. If a person's already had lots of sex partners, they're likely to continue this behavior.
Surveys have shown that if a married woman has an affair, it's because she's dissatisfied with her marriage. However, a man who has an extra-marital affair is about as happy or unhappy as men who don't. In other words, players are players.
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Posted by admin on Saturday, May 05 @ 22:02:55 MDT (269 reads)
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